tedwords

"Get even with people...but not those who have hurt us, forget them, instead get even with those who have helped us.” ― Steve Maraboli

This past week held a milestone for Corb. His 40th.

That meant, of course, a milestone birthday party needed to be held. And the challenge I had was there were big shoes to fill: Corb is the consummate birthday planner. My 50th birthday a few years ago was one of the most amazing I have ever been to, complete with a drag queen performing and a great Gatsby theme. It was pretty cool. It must have taken hours and hours of work.

So, on top of our trips and Ashley's wedding planning in October, I had one other big item on my to do list this summer: 4-0. I scrawled it on my white board in my office and every morning I would look at it and try to knock this or that other task on it.

I did have lots of help. Corb's mom was invaluable, and Britney, who owns the store he has a shop in, helped so much with the location and food. But even so, I felt there was an awfully high bar and I wanted to ensure everything was just perfect.

Since he is also is a bit of a Sherlock Holmes, I had to do all this and try to ensure he didn't figure out when and where. I assumed it was a foregone conclusion a party was being held. But the when? That I could control.

So, the day of his birthday, when he woke up, I placed a card on our kitchen island, inviting him to a "private dinner" that night. I made no comment and gave him time to notice it as he poured his morning bowl of cereal.

I figured he might think the party was that night if I worded it that way. That would keep him on his toes, you know?

And a few days later, on the day of his actual party, I tried to make the morning and afternoon as casual as possible. Little did he know I was finalizing arrangements and putting together run of shows to share. And at the appropriate time, I had planned for a black SUV to drive to Green Vic to pick us up. Figured that would enhance the mystery.

It worked! He didn't figure out where we were going until about five minutes before we arrived. And there were about 40 of his faithful friends there to celebrate with him. We even had an absolutely amazing "table of cakes" (one of his fantasies) that actually spilled over onto another table, there were so many.

It was well worth the effort, but you know what the biggest problem is? Since there were so many people, it was really hard to spend too much time with anyone. We had tables for my friends from high school, Josie and the kids and Kerrie, Brit and Tara, Corb's family, three theater folk tables, Corb's work friends. Spending any meaningful time was really tough! He would go from table to table and then get drawn to another table--and I wouldn't help because I wanted photos of him at each table.

But I think he loved it. As for me, once the birthday boy was there, I still had an obligation to keep things moving along, but I tried to do it in as mellow a manner as possible (note: that didn't completely work. I kept getting helpful suggestions throughout the night, which I tried to accept--or reject--in the nicest way possible. Some suggestions were not taken because I know Corb and how he really doesn't like to be the center of attention for too long. He is not an actor!)

But the bottom line was, I wanted to spend some time with folks, too.

The end of the night was the mellowest. After the meal had been consumed (some delicious pumpkin ravioli and barbecue chicken) and the table of cakes had been attacked, and the presents had the party started thinning out, a few people hung back and we were just able to sip some sangria and kind of talk. That was my favorite part: after the craziness had died down and the stress was all over and you can simply breathe with a few old friends.

Those twilight moments are the ones that are the most beautiful, I think. But all and all, for someone who isn't a party planner, I think I planned things pretty perfectly, from start to finish.

Now I only have ten years to wait to do it all over again.

Breathe. That should give me enough time. Any drag queens want to make plans for 2033?