Full Run Through

First thing in the morning, after thinking about it all night, I shot off a note to the entire cast:

First off, I have made an important decision involving a slight change to the curtain call. I have been thinking about it all night long and spoke to our friend Cindy about it this morning. I know how hard everyone has been working on this show and want to make sure that everyone in our cast is showcased during the encore number. So, rather than having the Strummers integrate with the entire cast as we walked through last night, Cindy will have the Strummers move behind our Group C, so that all three of our rows are displayed front and center, singing our hearts out.

We can work through it tonight, but please know how much Lisa and I appreciate all you have done to make the show what it is. Every one of you has contributed in so many ways to this show's success. The music is beautiful, the talent is insane, the sales are brisk...this show is operating on all cylinders, and that isn't possible without the focus and passion you all have brought to this project.

Another issue that arose was a friend who felt that I had been rather dismissive of her during one group number. I was able to resolve that through a nice discussion with her, as she had done so much work on costumes for me that I really wanted her to feel appreciated. But as Lisa (my music director) pointed out, I really hadn't been that bad at all...what I had done is to point out that the line in question were not posing in a similar fashion and it looked sloppy. And then, corrected it. Had this been operating at a different level, such a sentiment of "feelings hurt" would have been regarded as absolutely silly. You just suck it up and move on.

Tonight's added challenge was that the band was there for the first time, to work through all 33 songs. I was interested to see how things went with that.

I am pleased to report that they went marvelously. The band added the needed juice to bring the show to yet another level. Everyone could feel it.

Since I was co-host, I started focusing on that, with Melissa continuing to take notes. It gave me an up-close view of the singers and it became quite an emotional experience. I found myself in tears on so many occasions.

Part of my goal with this production was to tell a story about the struggles of a queer performer, and someone who had such a profound influence on me. As I sat there watching these folks sing, this feeling of pride and joy came over me in waves. This show was going to be okay. Better than okay: really. I had written the script, directed the show with 70 performers, and was co-hosting and singing four songs. My crazy vision was actually being realized.

I did get a bit sneaky in the messaging. For example, for a song called The Greatest Discovery, which is about a young boy discovering he has a younger brother, I asked my co-host, Caryn, who is a lesbian, if she would feel comfortable having her daughter Rosie act out what she was singing. And I also asked Zack, who is married to a man and has two young boys, to have one of his sons also involved. That way from an appearance perspective it looked like I had a heterosexual couple with their two kids, when in reality I was being far more subversive than that.

Or, for Blessed, which talks about a person who has dedicated their life to their career longing for a child, I made it a duet between two fantastic female belters, so it became more of a song about two women hoping for the best for their future child.

And then there is the story of Elton, who struggled through addictions and a traditional marriage, in an attempt to conform to societal expectations. Given my life story, as well as Caryn's, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to say that we could totally relate, when we got to that part of the narrative.

I think everyone left the theater feeling pumped and excited for opening night. I felt on top of the world.