Graduation day

[tedwords]

Well, this is it. My last day at North Attleboro as a student. And what do I feel?

I'm not concerned about the future, I'm not sad for the past--I'm concerned about the one thing I've been concerned about for months--Steve. So much of my life has been devoted to him. Why do I still hold on desperately? It's not anything homosexual, I know that. It's not a Jason-Tracey thing, I don't think...

[2026 note, in my best Natasha Lyonne: BULL SHIT. Or, this goes way deeper than what I have here. Why did it take me so long to work this out? I blame the eighties.]

But why am I so hooked? Why does it mean so much? 

Graduation was sad, very sad. But I've got to go on--I've got to live, and most of all, keep everything, especially Steve. 

Allison burst into tears at the end of her song, and I nearly cried when I read MB's graduation card to me. It meant SO much. 

Goodbyes and hugs were the pre-requisite, but I hope it isn't so. For real, goodbye.

Afterwards, I went to Deb Mandel's graduation party. Sandy Parker had good news--she's getting married. She's engaged to a guy she's known for two months. Also saw Lori Smith.

Steve and I did talk a lot, and afterwards decided to go see "Return of the Jedi" with Chet. Steve is still undecided about Mary and Denise. Chet says "Go for Denise."

The movie was good, but Steve said something that upset me. He said, "I'll never see you again after this year." I spoke to Chet about it, and while there is that chance, it will never happen. I care about Steve too much to leave like that. I've fought to hard. He'll always be around. 

FOND FAREWELLS: Goodbye, fellow senior class, all those who have meant so much in so many ways! 

[2026 NOTE: Could I have strung a less meaningful sentence together?]

And though I'd love to include those who are still in high school, I'll have to stop with just those graduating. But fond farewells for everyone I had to leave behind anyway!

Goodbye Brian Balut, although I didn't know you well. And to Pam Bathen, beautiful Pam, au revoir. Goodbye Tracey Botsford, I just got to like you and know you at the end. Good luck! Dave Brunelle, good luck, Tricia Gagnon, great luck always, sweetheart. Scott Gilroy, with your great sense of humor. Joel Gittle, a bien tot. Tom Harrop, good luck, you blond head you. 

[2026 Note: I am not censoring my entries, but I came REAL close here.]

Mark Hewitt, great luck to a person who helped me out so much with Steve. I'll never forget you, Lori Hustler, a sweet girl who always smiled. Chris James, well, even if it was never great, I don't bear ill will. Lisa Kelley, my cousin and someone I was too horrible to after junior high. I apologize and wish you Godspeed. Deb Mandell, a wonderful girl who always made me smile. Jo Ann Mann, silent although witty and very sweet, although you'd hate to hear that. Deb Manson, who meant so much when I was with Charlene. I will miss your style. Tim Mullen. Dave Pierce, good luck, man. Lynn Raposa, my first crush in high school, and we've become better friends since then. Anne Riel, shy and sweet. Frank Rosbach, there's been much in the past, most of it not nice, but that's the past. Marie-Louise Shilling, a wonderful gal who I'll miss. Good old Tom Shearer, a true dude. Mark Stolworthy, quiet but still nice. Sandy Streezack, who I will see at RIC and love dearly. Brenda Taylor, good luck despite what has been said. Pat Wynn, good luck. Jon Young, a terrific dude who always made me laugh. Dear Sue Boltz, who I love with a passion and want to see in the future. Allison Gifford, who I care for and wish that she gets her act straight and can be happy.

Frank Meekins, who I respect deeply and it has always been a pleasure to work with.

To Deb Flamand, who I've always cared about even during our fights. Your friendship still means a lot. 

And that leaves Pauline, my darling, dear friend. I love your new attitude as well as your whole person. What would I do without you?

And finally, to my number one crush, Mary-Beth, the cream in my coffee. We've been through tons of memories and just being friends will always be enough for me.

Good luck to one and all forever!