Lunch Among the Worker Bees

[tedwords]

“Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible.” – Tia Walker

One of the new resumptions in 2023 is going into the office more frequently. It's still not horrible--five days in a row once a month, the rest mostly still working at home, but it is an increased cadence. 

One of the benefits is that I get to have lunches and catch up with my old work friends Kim, Jonathan and Jen. I have been going to lunch with them since I first began my current job, ten years ago.

 "So ever since Jim passed, she's been a bit lonely, I think," I was telling them, Wednesday afternoon. "The other day, Corb's mom had a doctor's appointment in Eldredge and decided to drop in on us  after her appointment. It's the second time she's done it by surprise, and she ended up basically staying from noon until six. Corb was a little frustrated, because he had been planning to get ready for the week-end, and he has a lot to do for the chandelier business, now that the holidays are over. They are having a big clearance sale next weekend. I kind of hid upstairs kept texting Corb, 'Is she gone yet?' And at one point, I went downstairs into the kitchen, and she shooed me into the other room!"

"You have to control the time, Ted," said my friend Kim. "Since my dad passed, mom's been kind of lonely, too. I can't see her that much, since she's in Ohio, and I kind of feel guilty about that."

"Corb's cousin says she has the same situation with her mom's second husband," I replied. "She's solved it by suggesting they go out for lunch once a week and make it a standing date. That way she controls things and it's not surprise visits. The only problem is, we proposed Sunday breakfasts and she ended up turning it into a huge family event, with both of his brothers. And his brother Greg is such a pain. We were hoping it would only be the three of us."

Kim nodded. "Still, that is probably the best way to go, even if it is everyone."

"How's your mom?" I asked, turning to Jen.

"Doing well," she replied. "She's in what's known as the 'Golden period' of dementia. Her meds are working well and when we see her, everything is pleasant and she's no longer abusive to me when she starts to sunset at the end of the day. The biggest hurdle was moving all her stuff into the independent living facility and then cleaning out her home. Still working through that."

"I know the feeling," said Jonathan. "When mom passed last month, we kind of put it aside, and we are only now going through it. We discovered that she kept a diary since she was about 15 years old. My sister took all the books to go through. I don't think I want to read through them. That might be too much. She had one guy that she was engaged to before my father and I don't want to hear about it."

Kim sighed. "Remember when we used to sit around and talk about the kids growing up? I don't know if I like these years quite a much."

We all put down our forks and nodded. But it sure was nice to commiserate.

In the circle of life, this part of the song cycle doesn't quite have the thrill of Simba being lifted to the heavens. Instead, it's more Mufasa being sent to the old age home. That's a part of the symphony that doesn't have nearly enough thrilling violin swells...