A Farewell to Gorilla Arms.

[tedwords]

Last night's party turned out to be far less dramatic than expected. Gorilla Arms didn't show up at all, which was probably for the best.

Annie paid me back the money she owed right on time, with a minumum of fuss. I really appreciate that. Just an envelope full of cash, which I'm setting aside for Christmas presents. So, Christmas is paid for, which is a good feeling.

Since it was Pauline's birthday, I picked her up a present on the way, along with the traditional inappropriate birthday card. For years now, we've always tried to give each other cards that have nothing to do with birthday--things like "Happy Bar Mitzvah," "Happy St. Patrick's Day," etc.

This time, I picked up a card that said "Chemo sucks" on it. Pauline thought it probably topped all the other inappropriate cards we've ever gotten. She's probably right, too.

As I forced the kids to sign the card, against their better wishes, Corb said, "Don't you think this card is really especially horrible, considering her sister has cancer?"

"What?" I asked, shocked. "She doesn't really."

"Oh yes," said Ashes. "Her sister is heavily pregnant with cancer."

"Oh Jesus, I'm going to have to buy a new card," I said. "Are you really sure?"

Both Corb and Ashes nodded their heads.

To be sure, I called our friend Buns, who was holding the party. "Is Pauline's sister heavily pregnant with cancer?" I asked.

Of course, she wasn't. Corb and Ashes were just trying to freak me out. But you can never be too sure about these things.