tedwords

"I love this song," said Ashes as we were driving home, listening to Boulevard of Broken Dreams. "Now, you like Green Day, right?"

"I do," I said.

"But you hate Simple Plan."

"Exactly," I said. "They're whiny white boys who sing stupid songs about how no one knows what it's like to be whiny white boys. Green Day actually writes lyrics that are interesting. For me, it's all about the writing."

"I wrote an English paper where I used this song to show how it related to Dally's life in The Outsiders," said Ashes.

"I have some advice for you on English papers," I replied.

She smiled. "Oh really?"

"Yep. Here's some REALLY good advise from your dad. It's guaranteed to give you an A, every time. At the end of every paper you write--the very, very end, just write down this sentence: 'Sort of like my life.'"

Ashes raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Yep! It is SO teen-age angst! It's perfect!" I waited a moment, and then my eyes lit up. "And you can add a smily face or a frown face after that, too, depending on what the paper is about."

"So, if I'm writing about a girl who has an alcoholic abusive father who writes depressing poetry and cuts herself?" asked Ashes.

"Sort of like my life. Frown face."

"Or if I'm writing about a French prostitute who dies of smallpox during the Revolution?"

"Sort of like my life. BIG frown face."

"But if I'm writing about Mother Theresa?"

"Sort of like my life. Happy face!"

"Or Eleanor Roosevelt?"

"Sort of like my life, except I didn't get hit by every branch going down the ugly tree. Happy face!"

"How about if I'm writing about Simple Plan?"

"That one's easy," I replied. "Don't bother showing me the paper."