tedwords

"Light boats sail swift, though greater hulks draw deep." William Shakespeare

Picture this: the Caribbean, 2023. An infinity pool that Corb and I spent the entire day sunning and pruning our bodies in. We occupied the upper left hand corner of that goddamn infinity pool. Wouldn't let anyone else near it, except for the seagulls, who kept inching closer to us, but would fly off if we turned too quickly.

Certainly during that time, deep conversations flowed, reflecting upon life, love and happiness, right?

Yeah, right.

"Those women? During the World's Sexiest Man contest! Jesus!"

Corb laughed and sipped at his pina colata. "I know! They totally made the wrong call there."

"I mean...you've got seven guys. Two of them are 18 year old pups, three more are twenty-something musclebound hunks, and there are two guys in their 40s...the younger guys are super cute to look at and had nice bodies, but that one 40-something..."

"So good looking!"

"I know! Really handsome Latin guy with an amazing body for a 45-year-old. Amazing! And his moves when he performed for them...none of the younger studs could hold a candle!"

Corb shook his head. "The woman at the end even said, 'You boys should be taking notes.'"

I snorted. "And who...who, I ask... do the three female judges choose as World's Sexiest Man after all the dancing and interviewing takes place?

The 21 year old body builder in banana shorts."

Corb frowns. "That answer the young stud winner gave when they ask him if he had any advice for the other guys. 'Eat more chicken.' Ugggggggh. What an Einstein. 'Eat more chicken, dooooooood.' Blech."

La dunce. "I thought women were less shallow than men! I thought surface looks didn't matter as much! There they had a sexy, older dude with all the right moves and-"

"They go for the young guy. Just as bad as men." Corb smiles knowingly and winks. "And by the way, you'd do the exact same thing and don't you even try to deny it."

I wave him aside and turn to hide my big smile. With a shriek, the seagulls fly away. "Cluck cluck."

Eat more chicken. What does it even mean?

Corb is correct: my eye does gravitate toward the young and pretty. I can't help it, it's always been my way. Even when I was young and passing pretty, the thought of being with someone older never held any appeal, unlike Corb. I never would have gotten into a MILF or a DILF. To me, that was ZILF. That is, zero interest in looking to...

Aaaaaanyway. Be that as it may, when it comes to making seriously serious selections, such as who the world's sexiest man is in a totally shallow boat competition...or who to spend the rest of one's lifetime with? Well, I like to think I'm a bit less shallow than THAT.

That older man clearly had more worldy charm than his young counterparts. And was really good looking to boot. And, abs of steel. This Zeus aming sexiest men contestants is clearly the one who deserves a tacky trinket from some dumb boat competition.

"No, dear Corb, I would not have picked the 'eat more chicken' guy, no matter what you are insinuating." I replied.

Then I look over innocently, eyes fluttering up and down. A smile. "I had my eye on the corn-fed blond..."

Corb tries to splash me. "I knew it!"

"Just kidding!"

Not for something as serious as "world's best." Both the corn-fed blond and the winning lunkhead lacked the charm and sexy moves that the older man possessed.

That's an honor that only comes with age and observation.

Even if it might be kind of fun waiting for the wine to age, the current best of the best should best be based on the present package before you.