See, I think I'd have a solid defense...

[tedwords]

I wonder if I could sue Dunkin Donuts...This morning I ordered a plain bagel and whoever spread the cream cheese sprinkled garlic bits all through it. They must have been on those little glove things they wear. Ugh! You know how awful it is to bite into your bagel expecting nothing but cream cheese to discover it has bits of garlic??? Doesn't anyone know how traumatic that is for a sperm vampire?