Tiger text

"Ted, are you cheating on me?"

Well, that got my attention. "What do you mean?"

"I was cleaning out my computer this day, and I found this file called 'Tiger text.' It had all this naughty stuff in it. It looked like you were talking to someone. Who were you talking to, Ted?" Corb asked.

Tiger text? What the hell is he talking about? "Show me!"

He clicked on the folder. Sure enough, all this dirty tiger text appeared.

I wracked my brain, totally confused. Scrolling through, there must have been three pages of messages. "I will wear you out...you are too sexy...send me something naughty"...when had I written all this?

"I honestly don't know," I said, then paused. "Do you think it's Theo?"

Corb looked at me, quizzically. "Ted, are you cheating on me?"

Then, suddenly, it occurred to me. "Oh, no! Silly man...these are the Tiger Woods messages I printed out for my Christmas card two years ago."

And still, Corb didn't believe me. 

Let that be lesson for you, sinners. Sometimes previous Christmas indiscretions...even if they're not your own...can come back to haunt you.