Simple rules.

One of the rules to overcoming a hostile enemy: don't attack. Engage.

Corb figured that one out this week, when it came to solving the Ashes impasse. Ashes, as you may recall, has been dead set against the move to the new apartment, in no small part because she'll no longer have the largest bedroom in the house. In the fact, the one time she went to visit the new place with us, she ended up hiding in Corb's walk-in closet.

Well, what are you going to do? Corb started by trying to get Ashes past her silly demands...which were, gaining control of the master bedroom, and if not that, A LEAST moving her bedroom door so that she had complete control of the second bathroom (leaving Theo in a bit of a tight spot, to say the least.)

Instead, Corb talked colors.

"Okay, but if you were going to move in with us, what color would you want your room to be?" he asked.

"Lime green," Ashes replied. "Or blood red and black."

Charming. I can just imagine how lovely a room painted blood red and black would look. Three minutes locked in that room and I think you'd immediately turn emo.

"Well, why do you want it blood red and black?" asked Corb.

"I want it to look like it was a vampire's bedroom in Buffy," said Ashes.

"You want a coffin?" I asked, in jest. Ashes looked over at me, and I suddenly thought about a famous old Jack Benny routine, where Jack's the victim of a hold up. The robber growls out "Your money or you life," and there's a huge pregnant pause before Jack comes back with "I'm thinking!"

Ashes was actually considering it.

"Well, how about if we try to make it kind of gothic looking?" Corb asked, trying to find a graceful way out.

This intrigued Ashes.

It intrigued her more when he found a black chandeliere he could hang from the ceiling.

On Friday, he presented her with a design for the bed, which he proudly showed off to me. "See? So, instead of the $2,500 heavy oak bed that she wants, I'm thinking of getting two wrought iron grills that I can hang over her bed," he explained. "On either side, I could hang lights that look like fake candles, and I could paint a thick black line around the bed to frame the area off. We could place two small black tables on either side as night stands and...voila"

"Sounds great," I said. "Why don't we wait until Saturday when Josie's here to show it to her?"

"Why wait?" asked Corb.

"Josie might be a good middle man," I said.

Corb snorted and walked into Ashes bedroom to show it to her. He emerged five minutes later, without any scratches.

"So, what do you think of Corb's design for your room?" I asked Ashes Saturday morning.

She nodded her head. "It's good," she said.

That's about as good as you get, with Ashes. And it might just make this move a little easier.

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One of the rules of disengagement: Don't dwell. Distract.
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