Sordid Tales about Gonads, Canada, Animatronic Presidents, and an Inevitable Sense of Guilt.

I love Disney, but really, they should just post a big sign when you enter the grounds that says, "Gentlemen, check your gonads at the door."

That's right, hand them over, both of them. There's really no need for you to keep those nasty things hanging around. Don't worry, we'll keep them safe and protected for you, here at the front desk, for when you're ready to leave.

You see, everything instantly becomes nice and lovable, at Disney.

Gonads just get in the way. No need for all that nasty male testerone, around here. It's all about cute furry animals and make believe and fairy tales. Fun rides and good food. That's it. Even thinking impure thoughts is strictly forbidden...they spray an invisible gas that banishes all such nonsense from your head.

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