To Love, Honor, and Co-Mingle

Photos taken at the Roger Williams Flutterby Exhibit

High school reunion

What are the odds? I mean, seriously, what are the freaking odds?

Tonight, after supper, out of sheer boredom (and the fact that we've only one more episode of Doctor Who left in Season Three, and don't want to finish up the season, just yet), I flicked on regular television, and chugging through the channels, just happened to switch on "Wife Swap," an inane piece of prime time crap about two families who switch mothers for a week. Except, the husbands don't sleep in the same rooms as their substitute wives (frankly, I think that would be WAY more entertaining).

First thing I noticed, one of the families lived in Providence, Rhode Island. "Oh, that's close to home," I thought to myself.

Next, they panned into the home in Rhode Island. And THAT's where my jaw dropped.

"Oh my god," I said out loud. "I went to high school with that mother!"

No, seriously. I did. I KNOW I went to high school with one of the mothers. I remembered her from drama club. And, I called up Josie on the phone, just to make certain I wasn't hallucinating. She confirmed it!

And, twenty years later, there she was. Don't it go to show. Same bright red hair. Same pudgy cheeks.

Well, except for one thing. The thing is, this mother was now certifiably CRAZY. No, I'm serious, I mean it. KEEE-RAZY. She's one of those people who takes the Bible literally, and apparently believes that God comes first, the husband second, and the wife comes mail-ordered straight from Stepford. She spent the entire show prattling on about how a woman's sole purpose in life is to serve her man.

Puhlease. It reminds me of that old joke about how God created Eve with three breasts, and she stared down and said, "What am I going to do with this useless boob?" And man was created.

It almost made me want, for the first time in my life, to go to a high school reunion. Just so that I could bring Corbett, and meet up with her. Hell, I might even want to bring Josie, too. Just to see her swoon.

She was actually annoying in high school, too, as I recall...just not THIS annoying. My one over-riding memory of her was after the one-act play festival my senior year, when a play that I wrote won "Best play," and one of the judges said that I had a lot of potential.

Lee-Ann kept staring at me after that, saying, "I can't believe it! we made it, Ted! We made it!"

It was nice, I guess, but and all I could think to myself was, "What the hell is this WE shit?"

I guess I could be thankful. At least she didn't say, "The power of Christ compelled you to win this award!"

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