Jan. 30th, 2007

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“So, what was this thing about your Mother and Jim?”

“Oh! Mom called me today,” said Corb, as we were driving home from work. “She wanted my advice on something.”

“Something, what?” I asked. "Renaissance art? Pork futures?”

Jim,” replied Corb. “Jim’s asked her to move in with him. He wants to sell the house he burned down and has asked if shed move into a condo with him.”

"Well, thats great news!” I said. For those who aren't familiar with the long, drawn-out story, Corby's mother has been in a fight for the past year with her oldest son, who is trying to get her to move out of the house they built together. For her, where shes going to live out her retirement has been a huge issue, and, despite the fact thats shes like Emily Gilmore in so many ways, I truly have been concerned about how this story is going to play out.

"Here’s the thing,” said Corb. “Mom says shes an old-fashioned girl, and doesn't believe that it’s proper for a woman to live in sin, without getting married.”

I shook my head. “Ummm…Corb, your mom spends most of her nights living in that trailer Jim’s been renting while his house gets repaired. They’re practically living together, as it is!”

“I know, I know!” he said. “Actually, what she said was, ‘Now Corb, I have to admit, that even though I believe that a woman shouldn’t give herself to a man until the night she gets married—’”

I shuddered. “Please don’t tell me…”

“‘I have to tell you that I have allowed my morals to slip once or twice…’”

“Just the thing every son wants to hear,” I groaned. “Did you trade sexual positions?”

Corb hit me on the leg. “No, of course not. I begged her not to say another word.”

“Corb, the woman has been married two times before. She's almost sixty.Maybe shacking up might not be a bad idea.”

“And that’s exactly the advice I gave,” he replied. “I told her I thought Jim was right. I said she might want to try living with him for a bit, because after you live with someone for a while, you learn things about them you might not like much.”

I braced myself. I knew where this conversation was going. “Oh, did you?”

And then he hit me with his best shot.

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