Now, I ask you...

Have truer words ever been posted on a billboard?

Just remember boys and girls, a dry crack is a happy crack! No word yet on whether a dry crack addict is a happy crack addict...

I knew a cranky crack, once. It would sit there, glowering, and spit out pieces of concrete as people would walk by. Nobody really liked it much. All the other happy, well-adjusted (and evidently, dry) cracks would avoid it at the bowling alley, in the food court, at the sushi bar.

Little did they realize that this cranky little crack had a problem with alchohol. It liked to go down to the Paris Hilton Christmas shrine and party like it was 1999.

All this was as a result of its upbringing. Turns out his mom always loved the Great Wall of China better.

But see, with a little bit of love and tender loving care, this crack, too, can grow up and turn its life around!