(no subject)

I'm beginning to think that I have an unhealthy obsession with the Gilmore Girls . I mean, how gay is this? We just finished watching Season One, and I had to race to Target to pick up the second season. But, I like the writing, especially the dialog. Snappy exchanges always get my mojo going.

Today was, as I suspected, not much fun. Shopping for school clothes as a single dad is sheer MISERY. While I was shopping for Tiger, Ashley was freaking out, and while I was shopping for Ashley, Tiger was freaking out. At least, when I shop for my boy, I have some connection, but shopping for girls is totally alien to me. My girl holds things up and my eyes start to glaze over. "How's this, daddy?" "Ummm...duh?" Plus, Ashley is so dead set on going to certain places. It took us all of three stores before she finally went to a place that had stuff she actually liked.

There was one lady in Old Navy who took pity on me and spent fifteen minutes telling me what Ash's sizes are and what types of things I should be looking for. She must have noticed the bewildered look on my face.

Anyway, I arrived home at 8:30 $300 poorer and exhausted. Corb had to sleep before he went to work at 11, and I did some stuff, and then crawled into bed next to him, just so I could feel him by my side. I was reading a slightly existential article in the New Yorker about green burial facilities. Needless to say, I was asleep in fifteen minutes.

I woke up at 10:30, with my head feeling like it had wads of cotton shoved into it. The clock in our bedroom wasn't showing the right time, due to a power outage, and it wasn't until quarter of that I realized that Corb was going to be late to work. HOLY SHIT! I pushed him away and he flew out the door.

Still feeling totally like crap, I wandered around the apartment like a zombie. I couldn't stand feeling so disoriented, so finally I did about fifteen minutes of exercise to clear my head out.

And here I am, finally awake at 12:39, and talking to Corb on AIM. He was only ten minutes late. Not sure whether I should go to bed or just turn on the TV. One thing's for sure, I'm just not sleepy right now.

(no subject)

You just HAVE to love The Onion! And by the way, shouldn't we be bringing some soldiers home so that we can...gosh, I don't know...put them to work in the Gulf Coast, perhaps? Oh, I know, call me crazy! I'm just a regular nutbag, I am...

Bush: Vacation Ruined By 'Stupid Dead Soldier'
The Onion
August 31, 2005 | Issue 41•35

CRAWFORD, TX—President Bush concluded his summer vacation by holding an informal press conference Monday to address grieving mother Cindy Sheehan, saying "her damn dead son ruined my whole summer vacation."

Bush addresses the press during his vacation.
Bush addressed Mrs. Sheehan, who was not present, by saying "a mother should not have to bury her son this way, by which I mean allowing her son's death to destroy his commander-in-chief's one chance to relax and unwind."

Sheehan, whose son Casey died in Iraq in April 2004, has led a vigil outside of Bush's Crawford ranch since early August, urging the immediate withdrawal of troops from Iraq and demanding a meeting with Bush.

"This is a terrible tragedy," Bush said. "If this dead soldier of a son had the ounce of sense he needed to keep his worthless ass alive, my last few weeks might have been peaceful. I mourn the loss of the beautiful August mornings, and the sweet afternoons that could have been spent on the porch swing listening to the songbirds. All Americans mourn this loss."

When asked why he has refused to meet with Mrs. Sheehan, Bush said, "Listen, I came here to relax. I want to fish, go biking with Lance Armstrong, play with my dogs, chainsaw some brush, and get back to nature. 'Course, it's hard to do that when you have to constantly listen to the mother of some dummy who didn't have sense enough to stay out of a damned war zone."

Bush added: "I'm more exhausted today than I was when I started this vacation."

Security concerns stemming from the presence of the anti-war protesters gathered around Sheenan's "Camp Casey" prevented Bush from making public appearances in Crawford, including ordering his annual cheeseburger at Goode Company Barbeque.

"I was really looking forward to that burger," Bush said. "And I could have had it too, if it wasn't for that soldier getting his stupid ass blown off."

"We're supposed to be over there showing the Iraqis how to get it done, not acting just as dumb as they are with all their stupid dying," Bush added. "I tell you, it feels like every other month since I started this job, somebody gets himself killed just to mess up my holiday."

When asked to address recent public suggestions, including Sheehan's, of immediate withdrawal from Iraq in light of mounting casualties, Bush said, "I don't want to think about that now. We can discuss that back in Washington. For now, let's relax and have a good time."

White House press secretary Scott McClellan said Bush's remarks reflect the administration's stance on casualties.

"I think what President Bush is saying is that, while we certainly owe a debt of gratitude to our fine men and women serving abroad, we don't want the real dumb ones who die to interrupt our precious downtime," McClellan said. "It is the president's opinion, and that of the entire administration, that the best way to honor the brave sacrifices of our fallen soldiers is by enjoying a relaxing vacation and not thinking about their deaths."

(no subject)

Okay, first things first...yes, I heard President Bush's brief press conference outside of New Orleans this afternoon. And yes, I heard his response LOUD AND CLEAR when he was asked what the average American could do to make a difference and help out. He said that the best thing to do was to make a donation to the American Red Cross, and that's exactly what I just went online and did, just now, after I arrived home from work and put some food in the kids' bellies. And, I urge everyone who can afford to do so to LISTEN TO THEIR PRESIDENT and help out if they can. It doesn't have to be a huge amount (the minimum donation is only $25 after all...come on, that's simply the cost of two movie tickets. Rather than going out and seeing, say, The Skeleton Key , a movie set outside of New Orleans, why not help out the real thing?)

Plus, Yahoo makes it easy for you. Here's the link:

http://store.yahoo.com/redcross-donate3/

And now, on to the next thing...which is totally related. Many of you may have already read this, and if so, I apologize...but I think that Michael Moore is, once again, saying things that a lot of us are thinking...only, he's saying it far better than I know that I could, at least. If you haven't seen it, take a second...it's worth it.

*********************

Friday, September 2nd, 2005

Dear Mr. Bush:

Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.

Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping with national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?

Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!

I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?

And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!

On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.

There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.

No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!

You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.

Yours,

Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
www.MichaelMoore.com

P.S. That annoying mother, Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch. She and dozens of other relatives of the Iraqi War dead are now driving across the country, stopping in many cities along the way. Maybe you can catch up with them before they get to DC on September 21st.