May. 10th, 2003

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Last night Josie went out dancing with our friend Pauline, for the first time after an instance where she went dancing and I behaved--um, less than nicely afterwards.

That was before my New York trip, and since then--in part, I believe, due to a post that helped me sort things out that I wrote on the train at that time, as well as additional conversations prompted by [livejournal.com profile] walterwz between Josie and myself...well, I'd like to think that things have changed somewhat. I'd like to think that we're more united in our intent to separate while still remaining best friends.

Lauri says that it is possible. About half of her clients who have been involved in similar situations have been able to make that transition. So we have a 50 percent chance of success. Although I tend to think that our odds are a little better than that.

Anyway, I got through the night, and was able to greet her with a smile when she returned home. I simply focused on other things, not letting any irrational jealousy or anger build inside of me. I spoke to my friend Joyce, I spoke to Peter for an hour, I went on the computer, I posted to people..I got through it.

Last night, Josie called me at work while I was in David's office to tell me about going out and I ended the conversation by saying, "I love you."

"What did you say?" he asked, when I got off.

I repeated what I said.

His face scrunched up like an accordian. "But I thought you were separating?"

"We are."

"Well, then I just can't understand why you're splitting up."

I simply looked at him, smiled, and said, "David, I'm not ready to talk about that with you, yet, but there are other reasons that people separate, you know. And as far as I'm concerned, Josie and I will always be friends."

Peter hasn't heard from his friend John about the apartment. But John has quite a number of final essays to correct, so we're not going to push it. In addition to being a professor, John owns two buildings. This apartment is located near Peter, on the third floor. Peter says it's beautiful.

Travel update: not going to Kansas City, now. Going to Oklahoma City. Of course, travel day is on Wednesday. Plan arrangements haven't been made yet, so I'm calling Jenn on Monday to see if I can meet her. If so, then I'll take a later flight to OK City from LaGuardia. Doesn't matter, because we've pegged Wednesday as travel day, anyway. Shooting is Thursday and Friday.

To make matters worse, I had been scheduled to attend a huge event that I had organized in Albany on Saturday. But I decided to ask my assistant to go, instead. I think I'm going to be a little tired come the weekend--and missing the kids something fierce.
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I think that Josie is going to looooove her Mother's Day present!

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