Bondage.

[tedwords]

"But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever." Robin Williams

Wednesday was a huge honking busy day at work, and the afternoon got so bad that I wasn't able to check my phone for messages until around 3:30. I kind of wish I had been able to, in retrospect, because when I looked, I found a message from Slacker Chad: Call Josie's Mom ASAP.

Call Josie's mom? I haven't called my ex-wife's mom in at least five years. I didn't even have her phone number in my phone! Fortunately, although I couldn't tell you my parents' phone number if you paid me, older numbers that I used to use all the time when I was younger have stayed with me, and this was one number I used to call when Josie and I were dating, and hasn't changed. What was up?

She answered on the first ring, and it was clear she had been crying. "Josie was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery," she kind of babbled. "I wasn't sure who to call. I tried Andrew, but he's working, I called Annie, and she is too. I tried you and I tried Corb, but..."

"Josie's in the hospital? What happened?"

She stopped, slowed down. "She went in this morning for a routine colonoscopy. But with all the surgeries she has had lately...well, they perforated her colon by accident and had to rush her to another hospital. Oh Ted, she's been through so much these past few years. I hope she's going to be okay."

"She will," I replied, even though I was extremely worried. "She is strong like that."

As it turns out, she's going to be okay, although what she went through sounds excruciatingly painful. She wasn't exactly rushed to the hospital as soon as they discovered the perforation. Instead, she had to wait for six hours without pain medication so that they could locate a hospital, be taken there by ambulance, admitted and then, have the surgery scheduled. Turns out when she had her hysterectomy a year or so ago there was a lot of scar tissue, which was the cause of the perforation. 

She spent a few days in the hospital under observation and was released this morning. "It was pretty scary Wednesday," Josie texted me. "But all in all, it wasn't as bad as other surgeries. Can't lift more than ten pounds for six weeks and have to have the staples removed."

Funny the bonds that tie us, that never become unknotted. Josie's mom called three times that first night to update me on the progress and each time she ended the conversation with "I love you." "I love you, too," I'd say, and then hang up. Amused, Corb finally asked if I should be worried we were having an affair. He was just joking, seriously. 

The first thing I did when I heard the news was to text Josie to let her know I loved her. I knew she wouldn't get it right away (as it turns out, her mom had her phone), but as soon as she did, she texted me right back, to say "I love you, too."

I once had a boss who said he hated saying "I love you" to his wife and kids, because he thought it was corny and didn't need to be said. He was a very unhappy man. He would constantly make a face whenever he heard me say it, and I would tease him. "What would you like me to say instead?" I'd ask. "Tell them, 'You are not displeasing to me?'"

For me, that reassurance of the love you have for a person, that verbal confirmation, cannot be said enough. And honestly? Doesn't change as time goes on. There really isn't anyone I said I loved you to years ago that I don't feel that same way about now...and have no problem saying it to them, either. My boss was right in the sense that, once uttered, it doesn't change. But that doesn't mean it shouldn't be repeated.

Perhaps through the act of openly declaring your love, you forge a knot that is extremely difficult to untie. Which is why you need to be awfully careful with whom you say it to. But I am grateful today the ones I have declared my love to are remain on my love list today...and awfully glad Josie made it through this emergency intact.