tedwords

As liberal a guy as I am (and let's face it, I'm pretty much to the left of most everyone I know), I have to confess, if I can go to WalMart and buy twice as much as I could get from the regular supermarkets at half the price, then I will happily schlep on over every Sunday to buy our week's groceries.

Blame it on my sister Kerrie, who mentioned to me on Easter that she goes there every week with her super-cheap...er, frugal...husband. An idea was formed.

"The food's probably infected with the swine flu," said Theo this morning, after I arrived at Josie's rhapsodizing about my Wal-Mart food experience.

"I don't care how cheap it is," groused Josie, looking as if she had been chewing on tin foil. "The people there scare me and they treat their employees like crap. Pay them crap, too."

Well, maybe so. But jeez Louise, chicken nuggets at $2.99! They're twice that at every other supermarket, even on sale. Not everything was cheaper, but we decided to hold off on those items. All told, we bought a week's worth of groceries for about $72...which isn't bad at all, given that our grocery bill is usually $150 a week.

"The cats are going to be so happy you actually bought them good food," said Corb at the check-out counter.

"Eh? What's that?" asked the lady with one tooth who was manning the cash register. "How many cats do you have?"

"Two," said Corb.

"I have one lady who comes in every week and buys that kind of cat food," she said, squinting with her one good eye and looking over the label. "She lives in a one-room apartment and has 56 cats."

"The neighbors must love her," said Corb.

"Oh, they don't mind any," she said. "She says she hasn't receive any complaints from the other trailers yet!"

Okay, well. Maybe the employees and customers are...well, colorful (just check out peopleofwalmart.com, if you don't believe me...that site kills me!) Still, if I can pick-up potato tubs at $2.49 a pop, I'll put up with a little color. Besides, Corb and I are colorful enough as it is...so next time you're in the North Eldredge Wal-Fart, look around for us, bopping around the aisles like a real-life Ren and Stimpy. Who knows, we just may be there.

Starvation wages? Well, maybe they should kick in enough so that their cashiers could buy dentures...just saying...