Sympathy Tenderness, Offer Me Their Embrace

 

"Animals are such agreeable friends—they ask no questions; they pass no criticisms.” George Eliot

Last Saturday night, we returned home from a rather shitty version of Jekyll and Hyde (after singing "This is the Moment," the lead actually broke the fourth wall and acknowledged the audience's applause...I was ready to vomit), walked down our stone path under the arches, arrived at our side door, and as always, waited for Kyra to greet us. Usually, she will run downstairs from where she's been sleeping on our bed so she can lift up front legs and I can give her a great big hug. Which she did...

...but as I headed into the kitchen, I heard Corb say, "Ted, something's wrong with Krya."

And then she moved into our kitchen and had a seizure in front of the refrigerator.

Have you ever seen a dog have a seizure? It's a horrible thing. They kind of fall to the ground and run in circles. Her mouth started to wiggle and vibrate as saliva dripped to the ground and she lost control of her bladder.

For some reason, when shit like this happens, I lose control of my neurosis and snap into emergency mode. "Easy baby, easy.." I said soothingly, as she convulsed for about three minutes/felt like an hour. Meanwhile, Corb was on the phone with Tufts, seeing what we should do and where we should go.

On to Walpole. Before she entered into the truck, she seized again. And then, after being checked up at midnight by a very kind doctor, she seized again. She was sent into observation, and seized a fourth time, at around two at night. The next day, under medication, she had a mini seizure in the face, not quite a Grand Mal. She was placed on phenobarbitol and sent home, Monday night.

What's wrong? We aren't 100 percent sure, but the doctors there think that for an older dog, and the way she was circling around in one direction, and lost vision in one eye, it is most likely a tumor in that area of the brain. We couldn't be 100 percent certain unless we had an MRI done, and that...well that would be $10,000 and wouldn't treatable, would just let us know (maybe) what is going on.

Since that night, it's been a slow ascent toward normality. Kyra is now finally beginning to act like her usual self and not stumble around like a drunken puppy. She is wagging her tail and barking again. Not laying there making whispy whiny noises (fight night post hospital) or standing around motionless searching for a purpose (third night post hospital). She can climb down our front porch steps with ease. But also, she is powerfully hungry all the time, drinks water like it's going out of style, and pees like a racehorse.

Things are better now, although both of us spent the past week at home, scared something else might happen. Afraid to leave her alone and she may have another seizure, without either of us around.

We are worried about what the next week--Thanksgiving week--will bring. Can we get out to spend time with family? What would we do with Kyra during that time? This year was Thanksgiving at Tommy's, and he wanted to show off his new place. We wanted to go, but can we, now? Plymouth seems such a long way away.

Today we were able to go to Corb's shop, together, but only because Josie came over and minded the pup. It felt nice to get out and be with people, if only for a few hours.

I remember picking her up, ten years ago. A rescue pup from Tennessee, separated from her brother Caleb. A bad family situation, lost four other pup sisters and brothers in rather violent circumstances. She was a bit scare for the longest time but gradually learned to trust again and has had the loveliest life with us since then, with morning trips to the local Honey Dew for pieces of sausage.

Pups are in our lives for such a short period of time. They love so completely, trust so emphatically. They snuggle and drool. And then, they move on. And we miss them so badly, it's like a piece of our soul has been ripped out.

For the next few months, for as ever long it takes? Kyra's going to get all the love and loyalty one dog could ever ask for.