Vivid.

[tedwords]

 

"Now here you go again, You say you want your freedom. Well, who am I to keep you down?" Stevie Nicks

I've noticed in the past few days my dreams have begun returning to me. 

This sounds weird, but what I mean by this is that the last time I could really remember my dreams with any consistency was when I was around 21 years old, right after I graduated from college and before I entered the working world. I was sleeping in my sister's old bed at that point, and still recovering from a few old wounds, long since healed, but it was a very creative period.

After that, through my Corporate working years, my dream memories were few and far between. 

I do have one recurring dream through the years where I have been writing an ongoing novel in a dark attic. The attic kind of looks like something out of Nancy Drew. Imagine me on the cover there, writing away. I'm up to, like, page 200 something, I think. 

Leading up to retirement, I began having several dreams that were rather vivid. One involved our house beginning to tilt at a 180-degree angle, bit by bit. It was a strange feeling as I felt the ground I had been standing on for so long give way from underneath. The connection to real life is rather clear. 

The dreams the past few evenings (mornings) have been just as vivid and just as obvious. 

 For example, Saturday morning, I woke up to a dream about Fidelity. I was working away there, in what felt like a sunny cafeteria with seventies-style bright orange decor, with my back against a plastic bench and my laptop in front of me. All of a sudden, I saw my friends Kim and Deb, and we were talking and talking about stuff. But when I went back to my seat, I sat down, started working again, and realized after a minute or two, that the laptop wasn't mine. This wasn't my seat, wasn't my work.

An Asian kid in his twenties came up to me. "What are you doing here?" he asked. "This is my seat." 

I walked over to him. "No, it's mine." And then I started to get angry, but then stopped. From out of nowhere, I lifted up my hand and tenderly touched his cheek. Which, why? He looked taken aback. 

And then I woke up, the vestiges of this slightly homo-erotic dream lingering. 

I do think lifestyle changes bring about an increase in vivid dream production. For years after I left my first job as a claims adjuster, I would have dreams about working there again, but not wearing a tie, and being yelled at for it. I would wake up in cold sweats.

I think I am just processing things, but I kind of hope this keeps up. I like dreams, I like analyzing them. I like thinking about how they relate to the world around me and how they are helping me to sort through where I want to go from here. 

Dreams exist long term, dreams exist short term. Setting dreams and making dreams are what helps us feed our future. 

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In other news, this was a fun, busy weekend. Saturday night we went to Paint night with Sharon. Corb, who at our last paint night got quickly bored with the painting and ended up painting a big brown blotch, did the best job, although I don't think mine is bad, either. 

Sunday we went to Putnam, CT. I bought about a $100 in comic books. Gone are the days when my dad would give me 35 cents to walk to the Falmouth Mall on a summer morning to get his morning paper and pick a comic up off the spinning rack! 

Then after that, a few hours at Putnam Antiques Marketplace and dinner at The Courthouse, one of our favorite places. 

Monday morning, and now I begin my new routine. I had planned to start to ease into this but was kind of roped in to an Eldredge Singers historical project immediately that is due by around Wednesday. With a presentation on Sunday. Lovely! 

And then next Monday we head out to Ohio. First road trip.

Well, it will be a fun new challenge. I do plan to stick with my intention to ease into my new world today and start to organize how my life is going to look.